To That Certain Someone

To that certain someone in suk.soi 4


Out of hundred emails I got from my ad here, you were the only one that I chose to meet. I had sex with you on the first night because I wanted you. And the morning after, over the coffee, you told me you fancy someonelse who had a sugar daddy that you spent a short holiday with few weeks ago, besides you have not got over with your ex who you had been with over 10 years. I had to keep my mouth shut, never express how I envious those 2 women.

We met again a week later. I did help you sorting your things at my best. Until I found out that you knew my ex and believe that he had cheat on me for while. I could not do anythingelse but cry. Its not that I want him back but sorry for myself for my years of dedication to him. You were so kind. You comforted me like I have never had before. To me, this is basic foundation of my ideal relationship, the ability to comfort, to support and really care about someone.I went back home with the hope that maybe there would be something fruitful for us. I once thought maybe you even liked me.

But my day dream was shattered when I got the wrong sms, that you supposed to send it to your other fling, saying how much you missed her. You miss that bimbo not this decent girl here who likes u. How do I support to feel?

A long email apology from you arrived the next day. I should have just relaxed and accepted it. But my ego did not let me. I wrote back with the most killing words to your ego. I told you that I slept with you coz I wanted someonelse. You were being used and all that. It is not all true. I fancy him .. yes but I did not sleep with you because I wanted a replacement. I think you are far much better person than anyone I met in a long time. I just act out saying that from my jealousy. that’s all.

Oh boy.. what have I done? I am childish. I am shallow. I just cannot cope with your rejection and I re act to it in destructive way.

I would not mind at all if these last week I had not been thinking of you. But guess what, I often do. I often think how nice it would be to be your lover. We would be watching footie all weekend and cheer up the same team. We would fly to Singapore to see the F1 race. We would just be traveling on weekend to see town and look for meaningful architecture. I would be teaching you Thai history and you teach me how to draw. I would just rip your clothes off the minute I get home from work.

But I think I screw up. We don’t even talk. It is definitely my loss.

Now, all criaglisters listen, don’t be so childish like me. You never who , or what you would meet or here. But we are here for reasons, we share the same feeling. We are lonely and hopefully at the end of this horizon could reach ,we would find someone who we could love, shag, have fun with, and perhaps be loved in return..