Fear

My visions cloudy again, so cloudy to the point where I don't even want to be awake anymore. I hate this. I need to see a doctor. Seeing this way makes me overly panicky and uncomfortable, which usually sets off an anxiety attack that I DO NOT want to have. I think I'm a hypochondriac.. but maybe its the people who are telling me "there's nothing wrong with your eyes", well how can you possibly say this when you can't see what im seeing? I'm stuck in a rut. My insurance card is 2 hours away at my mothers house, whom im going to visit in 2 days. Then I can go to an eye doctor. I feel like everyday my vision gets worse though. I truly feel like I'm going blind. Lately I've been thinking about being blind, how I'd go through life without my sight... and honestly, id rather be deaf than blind anyday. ugh this is an everyday struggle. it seems to get worse at night.