I am so annoyed at myself it's unreal. How can I constantly do this to myself?
I knew I shouldn't have gotten stoned, not because I didn't want to do drugs but because I hate the fact that weed makes me want to eat a lot of food.
Usually I try to restrict myself as much as possible so I don't get any bigger than I am now but when I have had a spliff or two my whole normal thought pattern disappears and I suddenly love food and eating. It makes me feel sick afterwards to think of what I have let enter my body. It scares and angers me to get like this. I wish there was some way I could smoke and not get the desire to eat loads.
I don't why I am so weak minded sometimes.
Every day is a struggle to lose weight or to resist the dangerous foods I really hate. It's a massive part of my life but sometimes I wish I could eat whatever I liked and not worry about my thighs getting bigger or my stomach getting more bloated. It consumes me.
I don't understand where it came from and I don't understand even though I've had counselling why it still wont go away. The thoughts I have still persist in my mind. And to some point I actually like the fact I have it, it keeps me sane in some ways.
I just wish I could have the body I want. Hopefully one day I will.
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4 comments:
i love pot... i smoke... i've actually really good at not binge eating when i'm high...
simply just don't buy junk food and seriously try to start eating better once you do for a couple days you will honestly feel better... you have to say no to yourself... also try working out, walking, biking.... you know you'll feel better not only physicaly but emotionally about yourself
first of all, pay no attention to the ignorant comment above. There is nothing wrong with having a thighs that rub together or loving candy. Making your focus to be healthier, instead of just skinnier will make you feel better. You don't have to be an athlete or a model.You could start by stopping smoking. Then you could make a resolution to challenge your body mentally, as well as physically. Running 1 mile without stopping and reading 1 book a week are a good way to start. But get it out of your head that their is anything wrong with a larger frame.
why do you say that comment was ignorant? if you eat good food and exercise, you do feel better, physically and emotionally. it changes your whole attitude toward yourself and your life.
It's ok to eat, it's ok to be chubby or fat. It doesn't make you ugly, whatever some parts of our society may have you believe. Food isn't dangerous, it's just food -- don't feel bad for eating cake or candy or things with fat in them. Tyr to enjoy them, and try to surround yourself -- whether in real life or online -- with people who like you and think that fat or not, you're plenty attractive and interesting.
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