This year I will be 45. I have no savings and work at a company which is showing signs of going under. I don't even own a house. The last guy who lived with me stuck me with a bunch of bills that I can't afford. I'm a complete loser but what upsets me the most is I'm alone.
All I want is for a man to notice I exist and be kind to me. All the men my age want 20 year olds. Honestly, even when I was 20 I was still ugly so now that I'm old I have zero chance of ever getting a date. I've tolerated so much physical and emotional abuse to avoid being alone but it always reaches a point where I can't take it anymore. Then I regret leaving no matter how horribly I was treated.
I've attempted suicide in the past and fear I'll just snap and try it again. I wish that men realized there is more to a woman than looks. I didn't ask to look this way and if I had the money I'd get plastic surgery so to treat me like garbage because I'm ugly is completly unfair. I realize there is no hope left for me but if just one person reads this and reailzes ugly people have feelings too it might make a difference for someone else.
About The Anonymous Diary Project
- Anonymous
- The Anonymous Diary Project is an ongoing community diary where people can share their thoughts, stories, inner truths, and secrets anonymously. The goal is to allow people to look inside themselves and realize that we are never truly alone. Email your story, photo, secret, and anything you wish to share to anonymousdiaryproject@gmail.com. Please mail in the format you would like to have your entry posted or with instructions and attach photos, images, or video. The subject of the email will be the title of your post. Everything will be kept anonymous.
Join our Facebook Page
Health and Wellness Sites
Other Sites
Followers
5 comments:
You need to learn to love yourself first. A man can never fill the void for you. Know that there is someone out there who will appreciate you for everything you are and will treat you as well as you deserve. But a man can only love you as much as you love yourself, so start there, I'm sure you'll be amazed at how awesome you are.
My darling I read your post and let me tell you I can totally relate. I have been dawged by men, and myself for choices that I have made and for choices I have allowed them to make for me. I found that it is true that on this journey in life that one can not make a committment and find peace with another person until they find peace and love in themself. I can not tell you I wake everyday totally in love with myself because I have my own deamons to deal with but like everything else I am a work in progress.
dig deep what are some of the things, little things you find in yourself and enjoy doing...one of the things I find is simply blowing bubbles (and I am 42) also volunteering has helped me too...once you see that somebody else is in need and you can be the support, whether it be at a soup kitchen and just listen or hold a hand it allows the spirit in you grow
I agree with the previous two posts. lOVE YOURSELF!! You are the best friend you can ever have. When you can be alone with yourself without having to depend on any man (or even woman) to make you feel good, you'll feel a deep contentment in your life that you've never felt before. Try it out, sistah!!
ok... i'm 27 and i've finally said who the F cares! who cares if life is crappy, who cares! You are who you are. you cannot change what has happened to you. Because of it you are a stronger person. Be happy that you are still standing. And for the men... well if they don't want you for your beauty, whatever it may be. either your inner self, your works, or what you can offer than move on. Be happy that you have life and are healthy! be happy that you have another day to feel the grass under your feet, the sun on your skin and the wind in your hair! let your self be free from the labels all these men, your work, and your life has put on you.
live your life the way you want it. its time. just let it go. if you have been loved at least once in your lifetime then more power to you. how many people have lived their whole lives wishing they were loved! your one step ahead of them! so please for your self allow your self to live. if not for the rest of your life then just for one night...
and from me... i will wont any longer... i will love myself if no one else will (btw i've never been on a date, never had a boyfriend or girlfriend for that matter but i'm going to allow myself to finally live and live the way i want it! and yes i did grow very very religious... almost apostolic... and life has told me to stop living for everybody else and live for myself one lesson that took a great deal to break even though i'm still young!)
Believe in and love yourself.
That is what is the most important.
Post a Comment